Wednesday, June 19, 2013

What You Should Know About The Experience Of Motherhood

It's an important lesson for us all---that maybe motherhood wasn't meant to be done in isolation or within our immediate nuclear families.

There are at least 85 million moms in the United States.  What does that number mean for you?

When we become mothers, we join a new demographic.  We enter the world of mommy groups, mommy blogs, and playdates.  Some of us come in with excitement and others, in apprehension.   We ask ourselves at some point if we can do this.

Today, I tell you that no matter what background we come from, we need each other.

It takes a village to raise a mother.

We need each other to fend off isolation and to remind us that healthy solitude can be a good thing.

And there is something unique about the bonding that occurs between moms that even our own husbands and kids can't fill.

We need each other to share experiences that others may not experience (crying over those emotional Pamper commercials is completely normal).  We may dwell over our differences, but we are there for each other in difficulties.

Perhaps we need to laugh over lattes. Or maybe we just need to hear from that one seasoned mom who gives us confidence to do what we need to do.  Then we realize, she's just the future version of you. Also, there is something to be said about competitive moms.  Oh yes, we learn from them too.

The best part is, we don't have to be best friends or business partners---we just have to be mothers.

And these are just some of the benefits of connecting with other moms.  You grow.

So I encourage you to "meet up" as much as you try to "keep up".  Only then do we realize that our ancestors have done it, our moms did it, and we can do it too.

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind 
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put him down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of 
having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
Every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known in the warmth,
the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a mom.

-  a poem that was shared with me at a mom's group I joined last year (anonymous author).

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